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|Question of the Day: Where Are The Non-Pregnancy Pacts?|
|Written by Site Administrator|
|2012-05-02 01:41 pm|
At the end of last week there were multiple articles popping up online about the resurgence of pregnancy pacts. Hellobeautiful.com had uncovered a Facebook photo of four high school girls showing off their expectant bellies (pictured above, click image to enlarge) while their friends commented that the pic was “kute” and wondered who would be the first to drop. I didn’t even want to click on the articles because the last time I had heard about pregnancy pacts was last January when a Memphis high school came under pressure for 90 of its teens being pregnant or having a baby that school year. The rate was chalked up to abstinence-only teaching, accidental pregnancies and unfortunately the thought that being a teen mom is “cute.” Before that it was the 2008 Gloucester High pregnancy pact involving 17 teens that sparked the Lifetime Original movie, and being four years removed from that, I wanted to believe that there was no way this craziness had become a trend again, but there the blatant evidence was staring me in the face. Looking at the photo like someone trying to decipher hieroglyphics, all I could think was, where are the non-pregnancy pacts?
I don’t particularly get bent out of shape over teen pregnancies. I do in the sense that it’s an unfortunate situation, an accident of the utmost consequence, and a life-altering experience that makes me feel sympathy and compassion for the teens involved, but when it comes to intentionally deciding you are going to create a child knowing full well you cannot care for it, I can’t wrap my head around that choice. Dr. Boyce Watkins wrote a great five-point article to try to ease his frustrations with the reality behind the image seen in the photo. I love how he presented his ideas from an optimistic viewpoint of what he hopes are the circumstances behind these girls’ decisions, but I’m going to remix his list into my own non-pregnancy pact from the perspective of a teen girl. If you’re at the point of considering making a pregnancy pact there’s no reason to sugar coat reality; you need the facts laid out for you in the form of tough love.
Having been born to a younger mother who, at 20 years old, put me before everything once she had me, I know that miracles can come out of young single motherhood. However there is a huge difference in maturity level and job prospects between someone who is still in high school and a young adult. Furthermore, there’s a stark contrast in the level of selfishness between these two scenarios. Choosing to have a child conceived accidentally when you aren’t ready in some ways says I accept my responsibility and I am going to correct my ways in the interest of this child that I want. Making a pregnancy pact says I’m following the flock despite knowing better and what is better for me and my child and there isn’t much of a better word for it than selfish. Since women seem to be the only ones making such pacts, this advice is geared toward them, but boys who think that it’s cool to spread their seed from here to the ends of the earth could certainly use their own list. (MadameNoire)
What hard truths would you tell a teen girl considering a pregnancy pact?
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